The Secret to overcoming your Stress

by | Jan 4, 2018 | Blogs

Dear Reader,

I’m curious….. what does Stress mean to you?

It’s interesting because as I write this article….. today is International Stress Awareness Day, how co-incidental. So what does Stress mean to you?

The Stress that crops up in your business…. or at work…. when you are at home…or even thinking about the next holiday and how you will make it happen.

When I work with my clients, stress is one of the top factors that stops them getting the results they want. The breakthroughs in their business, transformation within the workplace, leading their team powerfully, achieving their overall vision & ultimately being their best.

So where does Stress come from?

As a coach, I love asking powerful questions so a better question yet…is how do we create our stress?

It’s a very controversial question as it implies stress is created internally not discovered externally… but as Michael Neill says ‘We create our world from the inside out’

Thats right, we create our stress so then how do we overcome stress? Whats the answer?

Here are 4 steps I want to share with you today, that have personally made a huge difference in my world and the lives of my clients to grow through their stress:-

Step 1: Accepting Responsibility for & Embracing your Stress

Self awareness truly is the first step for our breakthrough and as we create our world, lives & business from the inside out, taking responsibility is the first step in liberating ourselves from challenges including stress.

Once we do this and understand how we create our experiences, we can then focus on what we truly want instead and then go out there and create just that.

Another truth is that stress isn’t a bad ‘thing’. We label it bad and it then becomes much worse than it has to be but stress is just a part of wanting to play a bigger game and achieving more in business, life, work or any other part of your world.

However, learning to grow through stress is really the key. Let stress guide you to discover what you really are capable of.

Step 2: Discover the blindspot

As Tony Robbins says ‘If you follow the trail of your stress, it’ll take you to your deepest fear’

Stress often (not always) can be a hidden fear and what scares us most masked by and within parts of our life called work, relationships or many other areas where stress shows up.

I often find when working with a number of my clients on the subject of stress, that stress enters their life through their thought processes and where they live emotionally when going through challenging situations.

If you feel stressed about work, your relationships or anything else…ask yourself this question… what stresses me out about this?(wsmoat) Whatever answer shows up, repeat the question to that particular answer and keep repeating this process until you feel you have found what is the real cause of your stress.

Below is an example of the question process using the wsmoat question above:

Start- Where am I stressed: Stressed about work -(wsmoat)- missing targets-(wsmoat) not delivering-(wsmoat)- loosing job- (wsmoat)- not being good enough and facing family with the news, bills etc :End

Deep down lies the cause of your stress and even if you are stressed about work…what you really could be stressed about is your team not delivering, missing targets & then ultimately loosing your job or letting your family down…

Its not a pleasant conversation by any means but if you discover your fear, you can grow through it and be victorious.

(Source: The

Step 3: Slow Down, Breathe, focus & get in to action

When we feel stressed, we also feel overwhelmed by thinking about all the things we need to do, be & have in our professional and personal lives.

The next step is to really slow our thought process down (which is great for working through overwhelm) and focus on what will serve us right now in this moment. What action or step will put you in the right direction?

Maybe its going for a quick walk, listening to music or really getting in to action mode with our business/work.

We can’t possibly work on everything in one moment…but remind yourself of your vision, the results you want & then re-focus on just one thing you can do right now that will make the difference.

Step 4: Live & Own your values

Through my coaching journey and working with a number of entrepreneurial clients, one pattern I have seen which creates significant levels of stress in people, is that they sacrifice their values on the road to being successful.

I had an Entrepreneurial client recently who told me he was burning out while trying to work harder… & ‘hustle’ in his words. While he was trying to work round the clock, he wasn’t living his values and doing what was truly important to him.

When I investigated his values, his top 3 were Freedom, Family & Connection which he wasn’t meeting at all by adopting his new working regime.

Our values are our internal drivers/Sat Nav that steer us towards living a life that we deem will satisfy our needs and wants. One lesson I learnt early on in my coaching journey that has served me powerfully throughout, is to never ever compromise your values and to make sure we are living them regularly.

Compromising your values is compromising your self.

To work out your values, ask yourself what is important to me about life?

Keep repeating that question seeing what shows up and then write the answers down accordingly (you can even rank your top 5 & 10 values).

You’ll be surprised by the answers..but whatever your values are, keep living them regularly and you’ll feel so much more euphoric, energetic & alive!

Thats my 4 step process for today and I hope you enjoyed reading this article and it has provided you with some insightful steps to overcome and deal with stress as it shows up in your world.